On Marriages... Part 2

The first part of the series was authored by Arun Ramachandran. He didn't intend it to be a series, especially given that two other gentlemen who wanted to be a part of this blog much to his dismay weren't exactly writers in the first place, and they didn't have generous quantities of what is popularly known as beginner's luck.

There can, however, be an element of flair thrown into this blog, and a dash of flawed writing here and there; the readers were deprived of the latter by Arun, while yours magnificently uses the style generously, and thinks that there is nothing wrong with it, like he thinks he has a southern accent, but doesn't realize that its more like the southern accent that originated couple of blocks from South Mada Street, Chennai- 600004.

All of this needless talk reminds us to get right back to the point. Like A (henceforth, that is what Arun will be referred to as) said, it is indeed rather hard to maaru-adichify with a spouse who speaks another tongue, who you married just because she was a sexy babe, and legally owned a nice ass and a nicer rack; ass = donkey and rack = book rack, just in case you were getting the wrong ideas. (It is not after 9 yet while these words are being typed). Coffee aathittu konduvarathu is safely out of the question then. That sort of narrows down the ocean of choice one seemed to have started out with, especially when its known that blonde girls aren't particularly enthusiastic about speaking the dialect of Tamil the authors are interested in. Anyway, A's point is "Don't marry a girl who doesn't speak your language!". Fair enough.

So, should you try to convince the babefolk, especially the Mexican members of the offline forum, that Aathu le peshara bhashai is the easiest language to speak, and that Español has Tamil roots? You shouldn't . Just listen to A. He is some sort of an expert at this.

If you were to ask M (purely fictional), he would ask you to find solace in an arranged marriage. After several failed attempts at pataofying babes, he came to the same conclusion that his forefathers and fivefathers(that is their forefathers) arrived at - Indian dudes suck. Thats right they don't kiss, they suck (Line flicked from the movie 'Flavours'). So it is mathematically impossible for them to patao a babe. He thinks as a result that it is weird that Russell Peters thinks arranged marriages are weird. Certain talentless individuals - 15 of whom are the M's good friends - reading this blog will smile in silent approval. Cum the f**k on (still not after 9), how the bloody hell can someone sleep with babes while another similar looking individual halfway around the globe plays cards with male friends who haven't the slightest hint of mammaries, and the member of the feminine gender closest to them physically is the portrait of Monalisa hanging in a neighbouring house. It is believed that Monalisa is Leonardo in disguise, which would offset the distance by a significant measure. Hence, leave the trouble to your parents and just tell them "I need a slim yet curvy, longish faced, sharp featured, frilly haired, intellectual talking, Kubrick watching, Saki reading, Pink Floyd listening, British accent appreciating female". For all you know, they might find you one. Of course, after adding the customary Tamil speaking Iyer/Iyengar girl to the short list you provided them with.

That was M's view, lets see what Nitish's take on this issue is.

Thanks, dear hapless readers. (most of whom have been chosen beforehand)